year end blog, 2007

New things first. Last day I bought two books - novels in Hindi. One is my all time favorite raag darbari, and the other one is chitkobra. While, have read the first book and wanted to have a copy with me, chitkobra was something unheard, frankly the design at the front impressed me. I thought it would be blink type book.. but its a story - a novel and a google search tells me it created turbulences. All this happened at Itarasi railway stn yesterday.

Since October, I have been travelling much for fun. I visited some very remote places in Jabalpur, had parties and biked a lot. The year is going to begone and looking at it give me nothing to think about. Really. Believing in the axiom 'Every second teaches you something' I can say there were 365X24X3600 learnings, sadly most of them told nothing new. A freind told me "Akhand you know how to be satisfied", I think if this is true am among the few cowards coz I shouldn't have been here professionally and similarly in personal life. I can't be satisfied when I know I haven't worked enough to get the night meal or when I know the girl I love is being kissed by her boyfriend. I am not satisfied yaar, I am afraid of taking action, so kinda coward.

But, I know these were not my ultimate goals, therefore am not depressed. I had my plans and if I leave the lack of due dilligence, I have marched towards that and am doing fine. I have a controlled life, though not colorful. That's why I look satisfied.

New persons this year: I can only think of Ashish Gupta as an addition, He is big boss of my partner ogranization. He is cool and brilliant, very warm and great companion. He is the ideal at this point of time and I have lots to learn from him, but I don't know how.

Some freinds who have been part and parcel, professional and personal, who form my life:
Shweta is sweatheart and inspiring and good, she is just great. Satya, is good freind and guide, Jayesh has been good, though he was out of touch in mid-year, but banged into in last days and we talked a lot and lot. Bhaskar and Parth, make me smile, comfort and they know me and love me :) Santosh, I am lucky he is there. Abhishek, Alok and Shobhit, I can speak my heart with, shout and love. One liners donot speak my mind, I just wanted to name them and remember in this year end blog.

Family was much on positive side unlike last year. Things went from wrong to somewhat good. I feel at this front though my contribution was not much, but I played my role nicely.

Professional life has been swinging a lot, my mind sways me from one side to other. I am afriad of failures. I know this shouldn't be there but it is. 6 years back, father told me I lack dilligence, he knew I was brilliant, I had plans and he had confidence that wouldn't dilute even if I made mess. But he was right, I know my abilities, sometimes they get diluted because of underconfidence, sometimes overconfidence, sometimes lack of spirit and sometimes lack of stupid personal disappointments. May be I like flowing with time.... don't know

At this point I feel how some good qualities are not "the last sought after traits". I am preseverant and C S Rathore complimented me on that at IIFM. My school teacher have always praised my intelligence and brilliance, I am also positive and quick learner. Good to put in CVs though, they are not enough to get you what you desire, you have to push yourself continuously, think, plan and act. Action is what matter, Everybody thinks, but either they don't plan or they don't act and sometimes both. Then comes various channels you can work through, you have to know them, search and create them. There is list for this and all will be important as you keep stepping up the ladder, but the bottomline is to push and be motivated and plan.

I am 25, still a long way to go in life, but I need to retrospect, everybody must. I wasted some 4 years of my life and in a sense some 10 years. You can't play. Everbody in this world gets success but it is upto you at what stage of life you plan for it (courtesy Jayesh to his brother) and its true in a sense.

I am not depressed, not looking at shits. I just know, I have never used my potential to the fullest till date or I just don't know my potential. Don't want to reveal myself again, but some act of introspection and a plan must be there.

Well, there are no resolutions, they are made in process. No, there is one, anyhow see the Tiger!!

Year end quickies

I thought of putting few things very quickly so that they are not missed in the year end blog. We often forget little things or often we ignore them but these little things form our lives. Not trying to be a literature guy; its JLT.

Yes, so got again one of the passions this year, it is usage of Acronyms, I remember class X and below when I used to take notes in acronyms and hinglish. It was fun while referring them back. I resorted to that for a while during college but didnt last long.

I have enjoyed abusing and denouncing myself through out the year in that may be called the most important things in my life (you can guess it, you call it being stupid). Now I enjoy it while griefing

Have watched Ricahrd Gere more and now I am a fan. So now there are Tom hanks and Richard Gere. And I have suffered in Jabalpur for the lack of a good English movie parlour.

I had a crush, it was yet again an engaged lass and so :(.

I had some good outings, i visited tourist places in east and west India, Jaipur and Khajuraho. I am regretting for not having visited National Parks in MP. While I try my best to end this draught by going to some in the remaining days, I know I have to get this practice of moving alone.. you just can't get partners like that.

And I have often felt like blogging on things like why it rains from sky, or why am bad at sticking to friendships/acuaintances or why I am still a pure, I don't have the slightest idea why havn't I??

Well to this date, I think my best work on plagiarism has been "woh dekhti hi nahin apni hatheli ko, usme gadhi see lakir meri hi hai" (just changed the dundhli see with gadhi see) got nobody to use it though!!

Tezpur, Assam

First time I came to Assam, I was 14 years old, youngest in the group. I was participating in National Children Science Congress, representing KVS. I appreciated the place, I liked the people, but I was very much protected and I was not exposed to world.

Since 2006, Assam is more familiar to me, have travelled to more than one districts of the state, have been out on my own and have grown some analytical attitude. The place is also changed, lot of people and government things coming in. Political and technical empowerment coming into too. You need to be really careful while on move.

Unchanged, is my liking for the place.

Few people get so excited when I tell them my parents are in Tezpur. Very quickly comes - "girls are so easy to get there, they are very open society". And "you must explore the place (implicit is for girls)". One gentleman even said its very promiscuous there!! Poor me always forget I'll not get many chances to get out and try exploration.... and any chances bestowed if any are not going to work my way!!

Got some insights of villages in Tezpur from my car driver. I was keen to know about the girl thing - you know but you need to be quite disciplined in talking such matters. The guy had already shown me an ULFA restraunt before so I was more disciplined. So as per him there are lot of instances where boy and girl elopes. He was a teenager so supported the fact that parents would most of times get older boy for their daughter; and girls find it better to run away with the younger one she is in love with (if any). And more or less when they return after some years they are accepted and loved.. What about college girls? (very subtle question) - it was too subtle for him, as he kept on telling stories of boys getting drunk, fights etc. So really no discovery on how to get the girls there.. Next time if I'd find a person who thinks am lucky to be going to Tezpur, certainly am going to ask HOW??

Tezpur is kind of different than typical Assam and I can think only two things as probable causes - there is continuous inflow of people from Arunanchal ( they are really very broad minded), and Its been big defense settlement since early 1920s.

And yes I did visit a Tea garden and processing plant. It was not a big Tea plant for sure, but could see the actual processsing. The leaves are moistened and made softer by allowing warm air to pass through, they are then crushed in a style that juices do not flow out of it.. it is done by doing the crushing porcess in phases, (Before being finally made a paste the leaves went through 3 phases of crushings). Once the paste is ready, comes the most important part. The paste is entered into a big cylinder, open at both ends and it spins and revolves.... The technique is magnificient because the paste comes out rolling in the shape of round spheres (as we get from market) from the other end. These spheres are then spread out and remember they are still green in colour. These are then baked (and turn black) and then they are passed through a series of seives for grading. Didn't click any pic there!!

One more thing; the tea gardens look good, like well trimmed bushes. I was excited to go to a garden coz I used to think of big gardens and ladies picking leaves as in the Bhupen Hazarika song (komal - 2 ungliyan, tod rahi hai pattiyan... Do you remember??), and leopards hidding in the garden. It was not like that. The tea plants were just waist height in Tezpur. There are bigger ones in other parts of state.

Apart from outing to some places and tezpur city, I confined myself in the Airforce campus with, on few occassions, morning walks (that would start at 8 Am) and playing with suyash. The walks were really pleasent sometimes as I used to get many salutations (salaam sahab, jai hinds..) from airmen who were going to or returning from office. I never got the reason, How I can resemble their officers - I am not slim-trim, and moreover no officer walks at 8 Am. Anyways I enjoyed that.

And there are a lot of monkeys, 3 leg monkeys, 2 leg monkeys, some body part missing monkeys and yes, healthy monkeys. They live inside the campus and raid houses/blocks at their will.

ps - And a fact not much revealed that I had my first crush in Assam during the science congress, she was a girl in our group, 12th std from Andhra.. (I like older girls still!!), she was pretty - thats it!

Why Offbeat Movies are Cup of tea?

I was in an isolated place when two high profile movies - om shanti om, sawariya were released. I was lucky not to get CDs. Many freind's had pathetic reviews, except hindustantimes, and timesofindia most of rating portals also said similar (bad) things. Though I watched some part of sawariya at Rajmandir in Jaipur but I went to see the cinema hall not the movie and came out in half an hour. Khalid (HT) and Nikhat (ToI) used to write good reviews earlier don't know what happened. Do they talk to decide what to write??..

Well, I watched Water, and a real investment in Cd. The movie moves you, not just the story but acting, background, and slow pace but best suited. Though shot in Sri Lanka resembles Banaras quite well. The small SriLankan kid looks pretty as Chuiyaa (in movie). Lisa Ray very comely even after her hair were cut later in the movie and then Seema Biswas - terrific performance. And there is Raghuvir Yadav in the role of eununch -perfectly played, a fact I found only after I read about the movie. Another interesting fact is that Raghuvir's three movies have been nominated for Academy Awards in best foreign language film category viz salaam bombay (india), Lagaan (india), Water (Canada).

Yes, canada the sad thing about the movie, its a canadian movie, not an indian. It was released in 2005 worldwide, but got released in India much later in March 2007. The movie originally was to be shot at Banaras in 2000 but nothing worked out.

The movie is about tradition of leaving widow women from in-laws houses. How difficult it becomes for them to survive, some women are forced into prostitution to save others. Prostitution is a bad word, lets us say "some women are forced to satisfy lusty riches to get living support". The contemporary (1938's) Indian society is very well shown in the movie. Raghuvir the eunuch always appeared suspicious of gandhi [to quote " you know what he says, (pause) Who (asks to listener)?? GAndhi!!! says widows should get married, they are unaware of love, who does not know love (mocks)" in a perfect eunuch style]. And then there is Vinay Pathak and Waheeda Rehman very happy, having blind faith in the type of lives they are living, and there is John Abrahim, Gandhi's fan.
One should watch the movie, its a change and a good movie. A different plot and different era!

ps - I am listenning to Aaja Nachle's title song repeatedly to find out what is that which UP and Punjab's government have found - I think it is "bole mochi khud ko sunar..." in second paragraph. Not sure.. but is it something which should stop screening. Politics Politics...

pps - next blog on travel!